My delivery story...finally

Well, I figure that now that Sydney's 5 weeks old I should write my delivery story...the truth is i couldn't bring myself to relive it in detail until now because it was such a nightmare. I honestly remember the whole thing in slow motion and in a dark room...it wasn't until after I got home and talked with Eric about it that i realized that the whole thing happened very quickly and in a very well lit room.

I'll go ahead and start with Thursday morning at my Dr appointment. I made Eric come with me because I was afraid that my Dr wouldn't agree to induce me, and I wanted Eric there to "set him straight" luckily that wasn't necessary. My Dr already had me scheduled to go in around 5:00 to be induced that night. The plan was to start me on cervadil around 8:00 and hope that I progressed to at least a 2 preferably a 3 by 8:00 the next morning so he could break my water and hopefully deliver me a few hours later with an epidural (this was the main reason for induction as braxton hicks hurt my kidney horribley and contractions would be horrible with out an epidural)...sounds like a great plan right? Well here's how it happened...

We went in at 5:00 as planned and the on call Dr inserted the cervidel at 7:00 when she checked me prior to the cervidel I was dilated to a 2 1/2. (I was a 1 that morning) We didn't think much of it, I just thought that it was the difference in Dr's opinions. Looking back now, I should have for seen what happened. I'd been having really hard contractions for a few weeks, I just wasn't progressing. The cervidel is supposed to help your cervix soften so the contractions help you progress.

After she inserted it i had to lay flat for an hour which was extremely painful on my kidney not to mention I felt like I couldn't breath. But the hour finally ended. So, we settled in for the night, Eric had rented Get Smart, and we started watching it. My contractions started getting pretty hard, and I honestly don't remember the movie because I was just trying to stay very relaxed so I wouldn't hurt any more than necessary. After the movie (about 10:00) my nurse came in and gave me a shot of pain killer and 2 ambiens so I could sleep. Well, I felt great right after she gave me the pain medicine but within 15 minutes it started wearing off and my contractions were really hurting. The sleeping pills made me feel really loopy, but I couldn't fall asleep. They came in around 1:00 and my kidney and the contractions were really hurting bad. She checked me and I was only a 3 so she went and talked to the Dr and they decided that given my special circumstances they would give me the epidural then. So they got the fluids going and an hour later the anesthesiologist came in to give me the epidural. I remember being afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold still during it because I was hurting soooo bad. When he put the needle in I felt the most horrible grating feeling it was like feeling the way nails on a chalkboard sound. When he put the medicine in it hurt really really bad and sent this horrible pain down into my right leg ( It still hurts). I told him and he said that it was fine, turned on the drip, and left. They put in the catheter and that was a whole different experience with the epidural not working. after 30 minutes I still wasn't getting any pain relief, and my contractions and everything were getting really painful. Then they noticed that Sydney heart rate wasn't doing what it should be, so they put me on oxygen and told me I had to lay on my left side to help her heart rate. Now remember that my left side is the side that had the stone and stent, It was horrible!!!! I felt like I couldn't breath either. I kept taking the oxygen mask off and the nurse had to keep coming in to put it back on.

After another hour my pain still wasn't being relieved, so they called for the anesthesiologist again. He came in around 4 or 5 and gave me another shot of pain killer into my back and turned up the drip in the epidural. It made my right leg go numb from my thigh down, but nothing else. Once again they told me I had to lay on my left side. The nurse checked me and I was a 5. We called camie to let her know that I was a 5 and to plan on coming for the delivery around 8:00. They decided to go ahead and break my water in hopes that I would be ready to deliver when my Dr got in at 8:00. So at 6:00 or so the on call Dr came in and removed the cervidel which was almost unbearable, "Owwww" I said that alot. Then she broke my water and checked me again. "oh, you're a 7 now, you'll be ready to deliver as soon as your Dr gets here." The pain was horrible I was crying and trying with everything in me not lose it. I felt like I was being torn in half, the pain in my back was unbelievable. The dr turned to the nurse "She shouldn't be in this much pain with an epidural, somethings not right we need to get him in here to redo it!!" They both left to find him. With in a few minutes them leaving The pain hit me like running into a brick wall. I started yelling "somethings wrong I need someone in here!!!!" Then came the worst pain I've ever felt in life!!!! "I need to push!!!! Oh my gosh somethings wrong where's the Dr??????" Poor Eric was trying so hard to calm me down but my contractions were on top of each other and I really felt like I must have looked like one of those movies where someones possessed and they arch their backs in the most horrible looking ways. I felt like I was being folded into a pretzel and ripped apart. Finally my nurse came in and she saw me and ran and got the Dr. They didn't have any of the instruments set up or anything.

Like I said earlier I remember all of this in slow motion and as if I were in a very dimly lit room, and I felt like everyone was really far away. I remember hearing Eric's voice but it felt like he was soooo far away. They had me start pushing, I remember the nurse saying that she couldn't get my catheter out, so she had to pull on it really hard. I pushed a few times and after what felt like an eternity(it was only a minute) her head came out. She had me stop pushing for a sec because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. After taking care of that I pushed once more and she was born at 6:41 am. They layed her on me for a second and I looked at her and then at Eric who was pale and looked like he was going cry (Which is huge because he never ever cries) Eric cut the cord (which I missed because I was trying to calm down.) Then they rushed her over to the little area to clean her up. Unluckily my pain didn't stop yet. I remember asking them over and over if she was ok and crying because I was still hurting and I was so traumatized and relieved at the same time. The Dr showed us her umbilical cord which had a knot in it. She said that sydney must have swam through it and tied it off at some point. But it didn't cut off her supply or anything. She had to stitch me up because I had torn pretty good, and I could feel each stitch!!! It was not enjoyable. They wrapped her up and gave her to me after a few minutes and we finally got some pictures of her. She was so perfect. But she wouldn't stop crying. In fact they couldn't get her body temperature up. so after trying skin to skin contact (which didn't help) they put her under the heat lamp. She stopped crying as soon as her body temperature went up. Poor little girl cried for the first hour of her life.

Camie was the first to come and see her. Needless to say everything happened so fast she missed the delivery =( then came Alaura with Amanda and Landen. Eric's parents came around 8:00. I was still kind of out of it, and exhausted. But glad that it was over.

That darn kidney stone

Well, I'm finally almost done with the whole kidney stone nightmare!!! Next Monday The urologist is going to remove the stent and I will officially be done with this whole nightmare!!! Monday will be three months to the day since I had the stent placed. I haven't been blogging much lately because I didn't want to be negative, but after thinking about it I really want to be able to look back and remember this because hopefully I'll be able to look at it and realize that I'm strong and I can make it through some pretty tough things.

First I need to say that the stent and stone are soooooo painful. (Especialy when i was pregnant) Sydney was always kicking me in the kidney and settling onto my bladder which would send both into spasms...very painful spasms that would send me to my knees many times. Looking back now it all seems like a nightmare that was never going to end. I'm amazed sometimes that I didn't fall into a major depression since I've been unable to do much of anything for almost three months.

I think that poor Alaura suffered so much through all of this too. Poor baby went from having Mommy all to herself to having a mommy who couldn't pick her up, play with her or hardly even get off of the couch. Now, I tried many times to get out and be involved with her, but anytime I did I payed for it for a couple days after with HORRIBLE pain and ALOT of bleeding. I don't think I slept more than 3 or 4 hours a night before Sydney was born. I'd get up and pace the living room trying not to cry out of pain and frustration and sheer exhaustion. It was so hard to have to lean on others to help me. Thank goodness for my amazing ward. They set up play dates for Alaura and brought us meals a few nights each week for over 2 months.

I can't even begin to explain the pain that I was in constantly...First I feel like I had a horrible bladder infection for the entire 3 months, and my back feels sooo bruised. If I have to go to the rest room (about every hour or two) first I start to feel a sharp pain in my kidney that gets harder and harder, then my bladder starts spasming in time with my kidney and if i don't get to the rest room immediately I'll pee my pants because of the pain and the force of the spasms. Honestly there were a few times the pain was so bad I'd fall to the ground...needless to say I wouldn't make it to the rest room.

I don't know if anyone's had blood in their urine before, but it's kinda nerve racking to me. Now you have to understand, my pee isn't pink or even just red, it's the darkest red you can imagine without being black. It reminds me of a really dark fruit punch almost. I've scared many nurses when they ask for urine samples...LOL.

After Sydney was born the pain lessened some because she wasn't kicking me and everything wasn't being stretched so much anymore. Seriously, I could feel the stent pulling on my kidney the larger she got. Then they blasted the stones on the 17th. Sydney was one month old and one day. Eric had to leave town for some training for a couple days and poor Camie had to come and help out with Sydney. Thankfully Amanda was able to take Alaura for the night so I didn't have to worry about her. Brenda Miller a lady from our ward took me to the Hostpital. I brought Sydney with me because I wanted to be able to nurse her as long as possible (I wasn't supposed to nurse to for a little while after the anesthesia wore off and I was in the hostpital for 8 hours, and I hadn't been able to pump very much milk in the 3 days I had notice prior to the blasting) When I got there they had me sign in and go get blood work done, and some x rays, then I got dressed into the wonderful hostpital gown and nursed Sydney. Camie cam at 2:00 to relieve Brenda and to keep me company until 4:00 when I was supposed to get the lithotripsy (blasting) As she came in the nurses had me moved to the prep room because they were closing the wing of the hostpital I was in.So we were crammed into a little space behind some curtains.

I once again nursed sydney while they started hooking me up to the IV. The Anaesthesiologist came in and talked to me about the drugs they were going to give me (and what they weren't going to give me since I was nursing. Let suffice it to say that I was in more pain so I wouldn't be loading Sydney up with a bunch of drugs she didn't need) then he gave a shot of something...my head started feeling really weird, and I felt dizzy, so Camie took Sydney. "So we're blasting a stone on your right side and placing 2 stents" I almost went in to a panic "No, you're blasting two stones one of each side and REMOVING a stent" I thought I was gonna be sick. Suddenly the nurses came in and started prepping me, and the urologist came in to talk to me about what was going to be done. And he said the same thing!!!!! I wanted to cry!!!! They were talking about puting in two HORRIBLE stents!!!! Then he looked at the xray "oh, you're right two stones and a stent removal. That's why we have xrays!!!" Before I had a chance to catch my breath they were wheeling me away and I left Camie there with both babies. It took everything in me not to cry. When I got into the OR they had me move from the bed to the machine they were going to be using. It's kinda scary looking. The part that you lay on is kinda like a thin water bed. Because they have to send the ultrasound waves through water. The anesthesiologist put the drugs into my IV and I was out. I woke up an hour later in recovery by my self feeling really groggy and the urologist was there. "Everthing went well, but the large stone didn't break up as small as i hoped so I didn't take out the stent. But we blasted both stones so that's a fair trade." He said goodbye and left. It was a while before I was able to talk to a nurse (my throught was soooo dry ans sore from the tube they had to put down it) she had me sip some water and after about a hour had me try to use the rest room. So they helped me sit up and I got soo dizzy I almost passed and I it took everything in me not to start throwing up. I finally got up and sat on the little potty they brought by my bedside. I went pee and I don't think there was anything in there but blood!! It was horrible!!! And my back felt like someone took a bat to it. I was bruised and cold and tired and alone. I wanted to cry, but I was afraid if i did I wouldn't be able to stop. After 10 min someone finally walked into my cubicle and helped me back into bed. I was really hurting but they couldn't give me anything very strong for the pain, so I toughed most of it out. around 5:00 or so they told me to start getting dressed because my Mother in law was going to be there soon to get me and take me home. So I got dressed and sat on the hard commode seat and waited. Unluckily poor Lynette got lost, and didn't know where to come get me. So I sat there alone and hurting wishing someone would come help me into the bed for 30 min or so. Then they brought me a wheel chair right as Lynette came in. They wheeled me out to her car and she drove me home. I got in the house and sat down on the couch. She hung out for a few minutes holding Sydney, then headed home. Camie was there and told me that Leyna had gotten a hold of Sydneys poopy diaper and got it all over her hands..."but other than that we were ok" she said. Poor thing. Thank you thank you thank you Camie for helping out with that and everything else!!!

Camie stayed the night that night. Sydney and I were in my room Leyna was in Sydneys and Camie slept in Alaura's bed. Sydney had a really bad cold that night and I was up trying to hold her the whole night. It was an awful night and I did cry...alot. around 6:00 in the morning I got up and took Sydney to Camie and (woke her up) and asked her to please take her so I could get some sleep. Camie stayed and helped out for a while longer and Took off an hour before Eric got home. Luckily Alaura and Sydney were both pretty good.

It took about three days before I could walk upright and not hurt really bad. But I'm on my way to recovery now. My family's coming on Friday night and we have Alaura's birthday party saturday and I get me stent out on Monday and we're going to Disneyland Tuesday and Wednessday. I'll let you know how it all goes....

My family

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Update...

Well, Sydney's going to be three weeks old tomorrow...I can't believe it!!!! It's been amazing watching Alaura and Sydney. She loves her soooo much. You've never seen a prouder big sister! She's a big helper too. She'll get me diapers and wipes whenever I need them, she helps me get clothes and just generally loves her to pieces!!! Here are a few pictures of the two of them. I'll have to include a picture of myself in my next blog so you can see the "before and after" since I got pretty huge in the end. I'll also do the labor story soon.

Eric trying out the pump i had to get because I couldn't nurse Sydney after I got my CT Scan.

Sydney sleeping in her bed for the first time

Here are the pictures we took of the girls last week

Alaura hanging out in her panties and boots

Here's the junk mail that I gave to Alaura last week...she calls it her food magazine and wants to read it every night for her bedtime story :)

Alaura trying to ride Leyna

Today I ventured out to the grocery store with both of the girls and Camie and Leyna. I was nervous that it was going to be a horrible trip...and it was...LOL. I've been trying to figure out how I'm going to go shopping with both of them as far as the sitting arrangements go. I don't want Alaura down because she tends to run around alot and I didn't want to have to Chase her, so the solution I came up with was to put Alaura in the cart and Sydney in a sling. This seemed to be working until my back started to REALLY hurt from wearing the sling. Then I had to take Alaura to the bathroom, so I had to help her go then go myself all while wearing Sydney in a sling with my back on fire! Yay for potty trips!! Then we tried to hurry as fast as we could to get the shopping done and then Sydney woke up...Now there's something you have to understand about Sydney, She's a very happy easy going girl...unless she's hungry. You do not mess with her when she's ready to nurse!!! And she was ready to nurse!!!! So Camie took her for a little while in hopes that she wouldn't be as upset, and it worked for a little while. Camie jumped in line and I ran to get a couple last things, then i heard both Sydney and Leyna start screaming, so I ran across the store to relieve poor Camie who was getting some very interesting looks from people. Then Sydney really lost it, so I'm trying to unload my cart with a screaming child, waiting for the cashier to ring everything up, then I pay and the cashier helps me load up my cart mean while both Sydney and Alaura are completely melting down (Alaura wanted to help load the groceries because she always does and she didn't get to this time, plus it's way past nap time) so once the carts loaded I try to push the cart out to the car as fast as I can but, it's pouring outside, so i have to put Alaura's jacket on one handed and stick a hysterical Sydney back in the sling to keep her dry. I run outside pull Alaura out of the cart and stick her in the car, start throwing all of the groceries into the trunk as fast as I can and jump into the front seat to start feeding my poor baby. While nursing Sydney Alaura asked if she could eat one of the special yogurts. So she dives over the seat into the trunk to grab one and then while eating it she squirts it all over her hair and shirt!!! luckily Camie had something to wipe her up. We all hung out in the car for a while and Camie dumped a bag of pretzels on the ground (thanks Camie...LOL) So, after 2 hours I finally made it home!!!!